Dance Moms: Pre-teen brides

Dance Moms: Pre-teen brides

The Candy Apples rivalry continues.

Abby Lee Miller was in rare form this week. She sort of apologized for all of the drama caused by the dance moms (aka stirred up by Lifetime to boost ratings) and said that she felt terrible when she made little girls cry. She also pushed her nasty poodle, Broadway Baby, around in a baby carriage. This woman gets crazier and more self-important each week’s she’s on cable TV.

This week, Abby filled her infamous ranking pyramid with surprises. Abby puts Kendall back on the very bottom—back on probation—because of her mother, Jill’s, outburst the week before. Jill goes ballistic and pulls her crying daughter out of the studio then and there. Abby shocks the audience by saying she was devastated by Kendall’s tears—a surprising soft spot for a woman who usually tells her students to cry into their pillows.

On the top of the pyramid is Nia, a sort of random choice, who Abby chooses because of her “hard work” and “determination.” In other words, the network wants to hear more from Holly, the nicest and most-realistic mom in the bunch. Nia is the only dancer who gets a solo this week.

Of course, Jill and Kendall conveniently go running into Cathy and the Candy Apples’ arms because Cathy and her daughter Vivi are still in the show’s opening sequence. This doesn’t make a lot of sense, Lifetime, because Candy Apples is somewhere in Ohio, and it doesn’t make tons of sense that families are willing to drive so far for another study. Whatever. I still enjoy this television-constructed rivalry.

The person who doesn’t enjoy this rivalry, however, is Holly. Nia dances well at the competition, but her newly-created competitor in the junior solo competition is none other than Kendall. The girls are sweet to one another, but of course, Cathy and Abby tear each other apart. After Nia loses to Kendall, Holly says she’s had it. I wonder if that means that she’s tired of the overblown constructions of a reality show on her daughter’s life. She never seemed like she would have been into doing this show in the first place.

On the other hand, Abby’s group number beats Cathy’s yet again. She choreographed a dance in which the young girls were supposed to be (slutty-looking) brides (a la Madonna). Cathy choreographed a number about a funeral. Both were made-for-TV to be sure.

Are you still watching Dance Moms?